Have you ever found yourself caught in the vicious cycle of the tupperware game? You know, the one where somebody makes a neighbourly gesture to bring you some of their mom's delicious homemade butter chicken in one of those fancy matching Ziploc containers? So, of course, you devour a week's worth of curry in one go without any guilt whatsoever because your Islamic conscience suddenly kicks in to tell you it would be utterly wrong to dishonour a neighbour with reheated food.

Then, the real guilt begins. The container lands in the Drawer of Disorder, where the lids seem to multiply on their own. I'm convinced that Edgar Allan Poe's Tell-Tale Heart is really an allegory for the ensuing voices that echo from your kitchen to your shower, gnawing at you to return the damn tupperware. 

EXCEPT it would be offensive to give someone an empty dish, and when was the last time you made something that didn't come out of a cardboard box with instructions to "just add water"? Will they really be able to tell if you repackage your UberEats order?

After that, we enter the stage of passive aggressive hallway interactions:

"So, how did you like the butter chicken?" (translation: when can I have my container back..my perfect tupperware set is incomplete thanks to you. Don't you know this is all a 30-year-old has to look forward to in life these days?!)

"It was the best homecooked meal I've had in ages!" (translation: just let it go)

The days turn into weeks and months...

You start avoiding your lender like a bad ex, take the stairs instead of the elevator (desperate times), leave early for work, buy new underwear to delay your trips to the common laundry room, let your Amazon packages pile up at the door to make it seem like you are out of town, turn down all the lights and curtains, and finally, start househunting for the farthest possible real estate from your conscience.

So, for the love of tupperware, if you ever want to see me again, PLEASE just put me out of my misery and use a recyclable halal yogurt container like any sensible neighbour. If you don't have any, call up any member of my extended family for the chance to win a lifetime supply!